the beginning

I’ve had several people ask me how it is that I’m affording four months of travel. And really, I shouldn’t be surprised because, a year ago, I was asking the same question. But now, with a dream I’ve had for so long actually coming into being, I’m surprised.  I wish it were as simple as “I’ve been saving money since college,” and when it comes to how I’m financially paying for this trip, it really is that simple. But how I’m affording this trip is much more complicated and difficult than “I saved.”

Life is complex. Doing something, like taking a four month trip, is never as simple as having the money for it. There’s always something to consider; having a job, an apartment lease, a significant other, furniture, stuff. When it comes to stuff, life has been easy on me. I live with my family, I don’t own furniture and dating has been a relatively foreign concept. Everything I own can fit in my Honda Accord. I work at Starbucks, which for some, is a career and many others, just a layover. I’ve always known that the space I currently exist in is easily vacated.  Simply put, there should be nothing keeping me where I am. Except there has been. Myself.

When fighting against something to become better, to prove stronger, the fight doesn’t always seem black or white.  Everyone, on some level, has experienced hell. Whether that be because of someone else’s view shoved on them or from themselves. The past year has required me to walk through a version of hell, challenging thought patterns and behaviors.  It may sound simple but the way it happened, the restless nights and the panic attacks, brought more stress than you may realize. Because of the place I was in, mentally/emotionally etc, I wasn’t able to be any where else. I had to struggle with life and perceptions to be able to afford where I am. Being able to afford this trip isn’t as simple as having the money.  It’s about being in a place where I’m confident in going.

And that is just the beginning.

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